


nothing safe is worth the drive (and i would follow you home)

by dicksargents (wittchers)



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, blue isn't cursed, gansey tutors her, they're soulmates but they don't know it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 02:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17716682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wittchers/pseuds/dicksargents
Summary: Of course, eventually, that dreaded topic had to come up, too.Thattopic. The soulmate topic.That day was apparently today. When Blue went to join their table after the end of her shift, Gansey was in the middle of saying:“ – and it’s statistically proven that people who found their soulmates are not only happier, but also live longer, sometimes bydecades,” he pressed the word and Blue could practically see the exclamation mark at the end, “than those who have not.”“Ugh.” Blue threw herself into the seat next to Gansey. “Are we really talking about soulmates?”





	nothing safe is worth the drive (and i would follow you home)

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a soulmate au where everything your soulmate writers or draws on their own body appears on yours. I wrote this last year for the Bluesey Zine but completely forgot to post it until now so... enjoy, I guess?

Blue stared, disgruntled, at the words written in black ink on her wrist, and shook her head. _Dick_ , it read, in a handwriting that didn’t belong to her soulmate. She’d only noticed it now – because she had been decidedly _not_ looking for any markings on her body – but based on the smudgy fading letters, it was around a day old. If Blue was a betting type of person, she’d bet it was a friend being an asshole as friends usually were.

“How’s that going for you?” Cialina had asked when Blue showed up to work two hours ago. She had meant, of course, the words and doodles that had shown up on her body a few weeks ago. Soulmate marks. Words that only appeared after you have already met your soulmate in order to find each other again. One would write or draw something on their own body and it would appear on the other, too. A way to communicate.

Except Blue didn’t want to communicate. She didn’t want a soulmate. Period.

“It’s not going at all. Anywhere,” Blue had retorted sharply, as she always did when forced to broach the subject. 

“You still don’t know who it is?”

She didn’t. She went to school with at least two hundred other students, saw people on the street every day, and worked at a restaurant where she served dozens of customers on a daily basis. It could have been anyone. Henrietta was a small town but there were always new faces here and there. She couldn’t possibly know who it was or when she met them.

But most people didn’t. Most people wanted to find out, though. The system wasn’t flawless but that was why people would draw something on their skin each day so they would know if they had met their soulmate. Not Blue, though. Blue wanted to keep it a secret so she hadn’t approached her soulmate for days. And when she finally did, it wasn’t intentional – she’d been bored in class and started doodling on her arm before she realized what she was doing. She had tried to wipe it off immediately but the mistake was already made and her soulmate had noticed.

She had to spend an excruciatingly painful hour explaining to them that she didn’t want to meet or talk or get to know them. She’d felt a little bad about it but it was for the best for everyone. She refused to exchange names. She didn’t know their gender, either. It was fine that way.

Blue now angrily rubbed her finger across the crude word on her wrist, wanting it gone, but it was useless. She couldn’t wipe it off – it would only disappear once it’s faded on her soulmate’s body. Stupid magic. At least, whoever it was respected her wishes and hadn’t tried to contact her again. But it had only been two weeks and Blue was wary it wasn’t over yet.

Bored at the cashier with no one in sight and wanting to distract herself, she started going over the significant dates and battles of the Civil War. History was interesting when the teacher was interesting but Blue’s teacher was the textbook definition of monotonous and she was struggling in his class. Too many numbers she couldn’t remember and battles she kept mixing up and connections she didn’t understand. She wasn’t in danger of failing but if she didn’t start improving soon, she would never be able to boost her final grade.

“Excuse me.”

Blue’s eyes snapped open. She didn’t realize she’d closed it or that someone was waiting at the register, trying to pay. He looked embarrassed as if it was him who was caught daydreaming in the middle of his job. Blue resisted rolling her eyes.

He was a raven boy – she could tell by his sweater and annoyingly immaculate appearance – but most of them always were and he was also a paying customer so Blue put on her waitress smile and said, “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. The Civil War, right?”

“Huh?”

The boy looked sheepish. “You were repeating dates of battles. I couldn’t help hearing.”

Blue hadn’t realized that, either. She didn’t know how to answer so she only nodded.

He handed her a couple of bills. “You got some of them wrong, you know.”

Blue slammed the register closed harder than necessary. She didn’t really feel like being lectured by some condescending raven boy.

“No, I do not know, clearly, if I got them wrong,” she spat, then handed him his change, and hoped he would go. Unfortunately, there was no one waiting in line after him so he was free to linger and he did.

“I didn’t mean to offend you –”

She snorted.

“Actually, I just wanted to say I can tutor you.” He paused and smiled. It was annoyingly ceremonial, like everything else about him, from his sharp jaw and straight nose to his tidy uniform and the way he carried himself. “If you want.”

It took Blue a moment to process such a blatant show of self-importance. When she stopped gaping like a fish, she flushed angrily, resisting the urge to strangle this boy with her bare hands.

“You pompous, entitled bastard. If I want? _Really_? More like if I’m willing to spread my legs for you in return, right?”

She couldn’t imagine what else he would gain from it. He certainly didn’t look like someone who needed a job for money.

“What? No, I – the thought never even crossed my mind.”

He looked shocked at the accusation. Blue looked skeptical.

“I have a passion for history, -”

“Oh, I see. Then you must think the superior education you receive at Aglionby could never compare to the basic education of public school, and took pity on the poor helpless waitress who doesn’t have a trust fund account from Mommy and Daddy and has to _work_ to earn money.”

He clearly didn’t know what to say to that. She felt no pity as he stood there, shocked and pink with embarrassment and suddenly avoiding her eyes; in fact, she was a little proud to have rendered a raven boy speechless. They all needed to be taken down a notch, as far as she was concerned.

Surprisingly, he composed himself rather quickly and without fail. When he looked back at her, he was as formal as ever, as if she hadn’t just verbally chewed him up and spit him out.

“I’m sorry if you’re offended. I merely thought you might want help,” he said simply, like an explanation.

“I don’t need it.”

She probably did.

He nodded. “Let me know if you change your mind.” He started to leave but turned back. “I’m Gansey, by the way.”

Blue raised her eyebrows. “Just Gansey?”

“Just Gansey.”

_Gansey_ , she thought with another snort. _What a stupid name._

* * *

Blue failed her test on Tuesday. She approached Gansey the next day.

 

* * *

So, there she was. Being tutored by a raven boy she didn’t particularly like or understand. Firstly, he didn’t want to accept payment until she made him.

(“Oh, I don’t need -,” he had said at Nino’s that Wednesday. She had felt his friends staring at them from their table and willfully ignored it.

“I know you don't _need_ ,” she’d interrupted, “but I don’t want to owe you anything. So, let's agree on a number – a fair number – here and now or I'm leaving.”)

Secondly, she was still wary of his hidden motives, if there were any.

(“I still don't know what's in this for you,” she had said, regarding him with suspicion.

Gansey had shrugged. “Can't I simply want to help someone?”)

But Blue had made up her mind and she was too stubborn not to see it through.

The first time they agreed to meet at 300 Fox Way, she was distracted by the flowers that had grown on her forearm. Not literally, of course – they were soulmate marks.

Her soulmate had used colors this time, and pens made specifically to draw on skin. Blue had a pen like that, too, – just like everyone else – but judging by the quality of the drawing and the fluid curves and lines, theirs were not the simple default pen she had.

Normally, she would have scoffed at wasting money on things like expensive and unnecessary soulmate pens, but she couldn’t deny that the vibrant colors took her breath away. The lilies, the roses, the orchids, the tulips, all the other flowers she couldn’t name – they looked real and almost moving on her arm. She could tell her soulmate had taken great care sketching them, had devoted time and energy to make them perfect.

For her.

And underneath it all, written in elegant bold letters, it read, _“Have a nice day.”_

Blue sighed.

There was a knock on the door and she jumped, quickly pulling her sleeve down.

“Come in,” she called out, and Gansey appeared, clutching a pile of books in his hands.

Blue sighed again. This would better be worth it in the end.

 

* * *

And it was. After about a dozen lessons with Gansey, Blue realized he was a better tutor than she had expected. And although infuriating and pretentious, a more likeable person than she had imagined him to be. Which was perhaps a bigger problem than she would have thought.

“Gansey,” Blue called out to him excitedly as soon as he stepped inside Nino’s with his usual flock of raven boys. He looked at her, saw the grin on her face, then turned to say something to his friends. They all moved to sit down at their table while Gansey walked over to Blue’s practically vibrating figure.

“Guess what,” she said, bouncing in one place.

“What?”

_“Guess.”_

“Uhm…” He stopped to look at her, a playful glint dancing in his eyes. “Did you get an A on your test?”

“Yes!” she laughed and impulsively enveloped him in a hug before she could think better of it.

He was warm, and smelled like mint and old books and that awful car of his. For a moment, he completely overpowered all of her senses and she was surprised by how natural it felt. Or how much she suddenly longed to not let him go.

But Blue refused to think about that right now because she could deal with having a crush on a boy but she could not deal with having a crush on a raven boy.

He was blushing as she pulled away and Blue was glad she wasn’t. She could pretend nothing was out of the ordinary.

“Thank you.”

“It was no problem at all.”

He looked back at his friends – they didn’t even have the good sense to pretend they weren’t staring – then at her. His thumb found his lower lip, stroking it the way she’d seen him do during their tutoring sessions when he was deep in thought.

“Would you like to come sit down with us?” he asked, gesturing towards their table.

Blue looked around. Nino’s was relatively empty and rush hour was still a few hours away. She didn’t know why the thought of sitting with a bunch of rich raven boys appealed to her so much but she couldn’t deny that the bigger, less reasonable part of her wanted to sit down with Gansey and his friends.

She nodded. “I guess I can spare a bit of time.”

Gansey smiled at her and it was different from his smile the first time they met. It was happy and genuine and lovely – and Blue’s own lips automatically curved upwards. That was the beginning.

* * *

In a matter of weeks, Blue had grown worryingly fond of her raven boys. So fond, in fact, that she started referring to them as _her_ raven boys. At least, only in her mind, which was already embarrassing enough.

They weren’t as awful as she would have imagined – even though Gansey was still as pompous as ever, and Ronan was an asshole more often than not, but they got along as if they were always meant to be friends.

Of course, eventually, that dreaded topic had to come up, too. _That_ topic. The soulmate topic.

That day was apparently today. When Blue went to join their table after the end of her shift, Gansey was in the middle of saying:

“ – and it’s statistically proven that people who found their soulmates are not only happier, but also live longer, sometimes by _decades_ ,” he pressed the word and Blue could practically see the exclamation mark at the end, “than those who have not.”

“Ugh.” Blue threw herself into the seat next to Gansey. “Are we really talking about soulmates?”

“Blue!” Gansey’s face lit up and he angled his body towards her. “Perfect timing. Isn’t your mother a match finder?”

She was, indeed, which only meant that she interviewed a bunch of naïve romantics about their hobbies and hopes, then assigned them to the most compatible match she could find. It didn’t even pay well. The Sargent family business couldn’t compete with the big corporate companies who had websites and shops and algorithms to help people find their soulmates. Maura only had her psychic intuition, but no matter how many customers they kept losing to the multinational companies, she was never willing to give up the shop. It had been the family business for too long, she’d say. Blue didn’t understand the fuss, but then again, she never really fit in.

“She is. Doesn’t mean it’s not bullshit.”

“Match finders or soulmates?”

“ _Both_. Clearly.”

The table went uncomfortably silent. Gansey cast a quick glance at Ronan and Adam, then began studying his own hands. Noah started fidgeting nervously. Blue looked around helplessly.

“Uhm, what?”

“You do know that Adam and Ronan are soulmates, right?” Noah said slowly.

She did not. She knew they were together but they were private about their relationship.

“That’s… good for you.” Blue sighed and instinctively looked towards Gansey for help. He was still looking at his hands as if he was deliberately avoiding her eyes. Blue didn’t know what to make of the hurt look on his face.

She looked back at Ronan and Adam in front of her and smiled apologetically. “I didn’t mean it like that. If it worked out for you two, that’s great. I just don’t want one myself. I hate the thought of fate telling me who to be with – you know, maybe I want to choose myself.”

Adam opened his mouth to answer but he was immediately interrupted.

“But you can,” Gansey cut in with so much indignation that Blue was momentarily stunned. She didn’t think she’d ever heard Gansey speak with so much ferocity before. “You _can_ choose, fate doesn’t tell you anything.”

He looked around the table, everyone taken aback by how agitated Gansey looked. His eyes landed on Blue last who was watching him wide-eyed. He paused, inhaling slowly, and when he continued, he sounded calmer and almost factual.

“An average person has at least five soulmates and meets at least two of them during their life. Some of those relationships work out well, and some end disastrously. It’s up to you what you make of the situation.”

Gansey held her eyes for a second before adding, “Also, soulmate matches statistically last longer and result in happier marriages than non-soulmate matches.”

Before Blue could wonder why this even mattered so much to Gansey, Ronan began snickering. “Oh yeah, tell that to Jane.”

Blue frowned. “Who’s Jane?”

Ronan gave her a taunting grin. “Gansey’s soulmate.”

Blue snapped her head towards Gansey. “You met your soulmate?”

Right. She had insulted him, too – that’s why he was upset.

“I… haven’t exactly met her, no.”

“Why haven’t you ever told me?”

Blue knew she sounded offended, her voice too high. She couldn’t imagine why Gansey never brought it up. It was something people liked to brag about, not hide. And Gansey liked to brag about his loved ones – she knew because he’d told her countless stories of Adam’s achievements, always like a proud father.

If she had known Gansey had a soulmate, she would have –

Well. Perhaps, she could have avoided the lump in her throat and bitter pounding of her heart right now.

“Did you tell him about yours?” Ronan asked, his voice laced in arrogance.

“Excuse me?”

He smiled wryly. “I’ve seen you watching your arm, smiling, when you think no one’s looking.”

He was right – Blue hadn’t yet confided in Gansey about her soulmate, either. But she had her reasons. Sometimes, when sitting at their booth at Nino’s, or discussing conspiracy theories with Gansey at Monmouth, she forgot even her soulmate’s existence. But now, reminded of it, and faced with the shocking revelation of Gansey’s own soulmate, it was too much.

She stood up. “I have to go.”

“Blue, wait, no – Ronan, apologize to her.”

“For fucking what?!”

That was the last thing Blue heard before she rushed out Nino’s front doors.

Gansey caught up to her, of course.

“Let me at least take you home.”

Blue considered this for a moment. She didn’t know what possessed her to agree but she nodded, not looking at him. They both got in the car.

There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence, then – “I’m sorry about Ronan, he can be a jerk.”

“ _Can be_?” Blue snorted under her breath.

“And I’m sorry, too. I hope you aren’t mad at me.”

“No, Gansey.” She sighed and tried to ignore her treacherous heart. “I’m not.”

Gansey was silent. She could feel him watching her even as she stubbornly stared ahead. She could feel his hesitation, too.

“Just ask whatever you want to ask.”

“I only want to know if you’re okay.”

An honest answer would have been no but she didn’t want to admit that. Instead, she said, “Can I tell you something?”

“Always.”

She swiftly turned to him. “The women in my family don’t have the best of luck with soulmates.”

She paused. Gansey stared, silently, patient as she tried to find the words. They were still in the parking lot, the night growing around them, which made Blue’s tense shoulders slump a bit. Everything was easier in the dark.

She continued, “We joke about being cursed but… It’s not so funny when every soulmate any of us ever has dies within a year of meeting us.”

As she said it, she realized this was the truth she’d been so desperate to avoid all along. This was the fate awaiting her, too. Saying it out loud made it more real but she felt like she could confide in Gansey. It was almost relieving to tell someone.

She watched Gansey carefully, waiting to see how he’d react, but his face was unreadable. She knew most people would brush it off and tell her to stop being unreasonable because curses aren’t real but this was Gansey. Lover of the unknown and impossible, a non-believer of coincidences. Still, he said nothing for a long time.

Blue was about to question if he even heard her when he cleared his throat. Even then, he took a few seconds to speak.

“Everyone?” His voice was quiet and sympathetic but worried, too. Blue let out a bitter snort of laughter.

“Oh, not everyone. My father only left, I suppose.” She gave him a pained smile. “It’s why I don’t want… anything to do with this. Not when there might be someone else who –” She trailed off and turned her eyes back to the window. Inside, she could still see Adam, Ronan, and Noah, laughing about one thing or another.

She hadn’t meant to steer the conversation towards a direction where she might end up confessing her small crush on Gansey so she quickly changed tracks.

“My great-grandmother had spent her whole life with her soulmate. So, I guess there’s that. But it’s still just one exception to the rule.”

“Blue,” Gansey said and she instinctively turned towards him. His lips curved into a sad smile; Blue hated it. She didn’t need him or anyone else to be sad for her.

But he just said, “Come here,” and extended his arm towards her. She looked at it for what felt like minutes, hesitating, thinking about boundaries and overstepping them and the fact that Gansey had a soulmate, but she didn’t feel like denying herself the comfort at the moment.

She caved. Shuffling closer in her seat, she leaned her head against Gansey’s shoulder and he put his arm around her. Instantly, Blue knew. She knew, from the wild beating of her heart, that she was in too deep with Gansey. Too deep with her raven boys. Too deep with her soulmate, even.

But for now, she just wanted to forget and pretend for a second.

“It’s going to be fine,” Gansey said, and Blue believed him because Gansey had a way of making things true by speaking them. As if even the universe itself succumbed to Gansey’s will.

Blue closed her eyes, comforted by Gansey’s presence. They stayed silent and wrapped up in each other until the other boys emerged from Nino’s and Ronan loudly rapped on the window as they passed them by to his BMW. Blue startled, threw Ronan an evil glare he didn’t see, and looked out the window, averting her eyes. She could feel Gansey gazing at her as he revved the engine but he said nothing. They didn’t talk again for three days.

* * *

She told herself she wasn’t avoiding him on purpose but that was not true. Three days wasn’t a long time but since she met them, Blue was in contact with her raven boys every day. Usually, she saw them at Nino’s, or they exchanged phone calls. When she had time, she biked over to Monmouth and they ordered pizza and watched some movies. Now, there were no phone calls or movies and she was beginning to feel weird without it. Someone had to break the ice.

“Hello?”

“Gansey. Were you sleeping?”

“Oh, Blue.” There was a pause on the other end of the phone, and Blue patiently twisted the telephone cord around her index finger. A rustling of sheets, then Gansey’s voice, closer and more alert in her ear, “No. I usually don’t.”

She didn’t know what she was doing, only that it was an inappropriate time to call anyone. That didn’t stop her, though. Blue was sensible but she believed in instincts and they were all telling her to call Gansey. Now that she had, she had nothing to say.

 “Good,” she said just to say something, so terribly self-conscious. “You can keep me company.”

“At your service, my lady,” he said, which was ridiculous, but made her giggle anyway. As if nothing was different between them at all.

She had no idea what came over her when she decided to play along. “You flatter me, fair knight. I bet you say that to all the ladies.”

“None as special as you.”

Blue grinned brightly. “That’s cheesy, Gansey.”

“Then why are you smiling?”

“I’m not!” she exclaimed, mock outraged, and tried to rearrange her features into something more neutral. Of course, he couldn’t see her, but she knew her voice was betraying her.

Gansey laughed quietly in her ear and Blue squeezed her eyes shut at the sound. It was a bit too late and she felt drunk on Gansey’s presence. Suddenly, she didn’t feel rational enough to be talking to him.

She opened her eyes and noticed something moving on her arm. A bug, she thought at first, but open closer inspection, she realized it was the shape of a cat materializing on her arm. Her soulmate.

She smiled faintly, watching the doodle take shape while Gansey began a tale about his time traveling Europe. She was used to the doodles by now and they were almost soothing. She had once considered grabbing her pen and asking them politely to stop but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. After all, the soulmate marks she found on her body, each day without fail, were pretty and didn’t harm anyone. And now, she’d grown irrationally fond of them – much as she’d grown irrationally fond of Gansey, too.

* * *

The day it happened, they were studying at Monmouth where it was less noisy and crowded – especially then, with Ronan and Noah out. It had been Blue’s idea, and she liked to believe it was for the sake of peace and not born from a childish desire to be alone with Gansey. Of course, the latter was probably closer to the truth.

Halfway through their study session, Gansey had to take a call from his mother – who, Blue had learned, was running for office in D.C. – and Blue was growing bored with staring at her history notes, scrawled in her messy handwriting. Gansey’s own notebooks lay at the edge of his desk and they looked much more inviting and neater than hers, perfectly in shape, no wrinkles or dog ears. Naturally.

Blue glanced back at Gansey walking in circles, phone to his ear, the annoyed expression ever growing on his face, then reached for the notebook on top. The first thing that stood out was Gansey’s handwriting, every bit as elegant and tidy as she had expected. Here and there, he would jot down facts and ideas about his beloved Welsh king, Glendower, and at one point, he filled half a page with his thoughts on the Welsh revolution. The more excited he got, the sloppier his handwriting was, until Blue couldn’t read it anymore.

Then, as she flipped the pages, something else caught her eye. Some of the margins were decorated with tiny little flowers and animals and funny little caricatures of a boy being chased by bees. They seemed… eerily familiar.

Blue inspected Gansey’s handwriting again, then the drawings. An idea was forming in her head but she couldn’t put it in words yet. She started flipping the pages again, a little frantically, inspecting every doodle Gansey had made. There were cars – specifically, the Pig – and more animals. She saw a cat, too.

She pushed her sleeve up, comparing the drawings on her arm to the ones in Gansey’s notebook. They were the same.

_Jane? She was Jane?_

“Blue, sorry to keep you waiting –”

Blue’s head snapped up, staring at Gansey in disbelief. He paused, noticing the open notebook and her sleeves pushed up, and realization quickly dawned on him.

“ _Oh_.”

It was an oh of dread.

Blue’s heart stopped for a second. The guilt in his voice, the horror on his face was unmistakable.

“You knew.”

She hoped he would deny the accusation, tell her he had no idea what she was talking about but it was easy to tell he did. He said nothing, only staring at her with big remorseful eyes.

Blue exhaled shakily, feeling undone. When she spoke, her voice was trembling, too – from anger or disappoint or heartbreak, she couldn’t tell.

“All along?”

He opened his mouth but closed it wordlessly. For all his usual bravado, now he seemed like a boy berated by his mother, unable to defend himself. Probably because he knew there was nothing to defend.

Blue stood up so abruptly her chair fell over. She didn’t bother fixing it. She barely remembered to grab her notebook before heading for the door.

“Don’t call me again.”

“Blue,” he called after her, finally finding his voice. “Wait –”

She stormed out.

* * *

In retrospect, she should have known.

_Dick_ , she remembered written on her wrist the day they met. Probably Ronan’s doing. At the time, she thought it was an insult and not a name – though, it could have been both.

Maybe it should have been obvious after that but Gansey was Gansey, not Dick, unless she was feeling prickly. So she hadn’t made the connection, hadn’t even remembered it again until now.

And now, it didn’t matter. She was too angry to acknowledge the fact that she liked Gansey before she knew he was her soulmate – which is what she had always wanted. A relationship based on real feelings, not fate.

But she couldn’t deny that she missed him and her boys. She hadn’t slept well since walked out on Gansey a week ago at Monmouth, and she wasn’t sure if his doodles – which he still continued every day – were helping or making it worse.

He’d tried to talk to her once but after she brushed him off and told him to leave her alone, he hadn’t made any other attempts at communication. Well, except for writing “I’m sorry” on her wrist the other day, and showing up at Nino’s every day, even alone sometimes. Like now.

Blue was pointedly ignoring him but she could feel his stare on her as she moved about her business. It was distracting, not to mention annoying, but her pride forced her to act like she didn’t notice. She would not give him the satisfaction.

But when she felt he wasn’t looking, she quickly glanced over at him to see him writing something on his wrist. Her skin began to tingle, a phantom sensation. Part of her didn’t even want to check what he wrote but her curiosity was too big.

She glanced down and her breath stuck in her throat. _I love you_ , it said, in taunting black ink. She could feel his eyes on her again but she couldn’t look away. Not while her heart was beating too fast and she wished with everything in her that she could go over there and kiss him breathless.

Shaking her head, she banished her temporary weakness and let it turn into anger. Instinctively, she marched over to Gansey’s table, slamming her hands down on the table. Her gaze was accusatory but he looked back, unflinching.

“What are you doing?”

He shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Stop it,” Blue hissed. “You’re not being fair.”

“Why? It’s the truth.”

Blue looked at him for a long moment, unsure how to respond. He looked determined, if a bit nervous. He was wearing his glasses, too, and once again, she felt the urge to reach out, grab him by his stupid collar, and kiss the life out of him.

Instead, she slumped down in the seat in front of him, all the fight gone from her body.

“Why did you do it? Why didn’t you tell me from the start?”

Gansey paused, finally breaking eye contact. His voice was sheepish and a little embarrassed when he answered. “I suppose… I wanted you to give me a chance.”

Blue raised her eyebrows pointedly.

“Right. That didn’t work out too well, I know.”

He looked back at her, his eyes honest and open, pleading with her.

“But you didn’t want a soulmate, you told me that. I was disappointed but I tried to accept it. Then a few days later, I saw my doodles on your arm when you handed me the change and your sleeve slipped up. It took me days to approach you but I knew I had to get to know you. Even if you would only be my friend.”

He paused again and Blue swallowed, heart in her throat.

“I thought,” he continued, unsure, “if you’d get to know me too, maybe even fall in love with me, it wouldn’t matter that I was your soulmate. Because you would have loved me before you knew.” His lips curved into a bitter smile. It looked wrong on him. “But now that you've come to hate me, I see how that was counterproductive.”

Blue let out a long exhale, shaking her head. “I don’t hate you.”

She looked away, melancholy seeping into her bones.

“I wish I could.”

Gansey made a noise like a wounded animal and when she looked back, the look on his face was of a kicked puppy. She resisted the urge to reach out and hold his hand, still a little mad that he kept such a big secret from her.

“Not like that…” Blue trailed off, trying to explain but at a loss for words. The truth made her feel vulnerable but she had to say it. “I’m scared.”

Gansey frowned. “Because of the… ‘curse’?”

She gave a small nod.

“Oh, Blue.” He reached out but stopped a few inches short of her hand, hesitating. Blue took his hand and he squeezed it reassuringly, his lips lifting into a small, tentative smile. He looked around the restaurant. “Do you want to go somewhere else?”

Blue looked around as well, suddenly remembering that she was at work. Damn Gansey for making her forget about everything else but him.

“My shift ends in half an hour. Meet you at the Pig?”

Gansey nodded, his face full of hope. “I’ll see you then.”

 

* * *

Blue perched on top of the Pig, staring in awe at the pretty twinkling lights of Henrietta laying before them. From here at night, Henrietta looked like a fairytale town. A place of magic and miracles.

Glancing at Gansey beside her, she knew it was.

Gansey cleared his throat, breaking their peaceful silence.

“Can you forgive me?” he asked quietly, not looking at her.

Blue didn’t answer right away, considering her words, but she knew in her heart that she wasn’t mad at him anymore.

“I can. But do you deserve it?”

Gansey slipped off the hood and put his hands on either side of her, which excited Blue a little more than it should have. His lips curved into something of a smirk when he saw her gulp.

“I promise I will do my best to be good enough for you, Jane.”

Blue looked down, a bit flustered, a small smile playing on her lips.

“That’s not my name.”

“I had to call you something, since you wouldn’t give me your name.” He took her hands in his own. “My Jane.”

Blue looked back at him, heart fluttering as he leaned down to kiss her wrist – right where his _‘I love you’_ was written.

“Kiss me,” she blurted out before she could stop herself. But as Gansey locked eyes with her, hungry and hopeful, she realized she didn’t mind. “Kiss me,” she repeated, more confident.

“At your service, my lady.”

Blue broke into a grin, her teasing remark muffled as Gansey pressed his lips to hers. She sighed into his mouth, lost in him already, and thinking that if Gansey was her soulmate, perhaps soulmates weren’t such a bad thing after all.


End file.
